(no subject)

[ristin]

Not much time.

Here. trapped in NZ in close confines to family, i discovered something worrying.
My mother "knows" i had come out to her and gotten her terminally bad reaction, so bad it has thus far prevented me coming out to my father (who is rumoured to know via my mother but since i haven't told him 'cos my mother made me promise not to...) she knows about my plan to elope (basically) on the 31st.
So...this year of work experience is ending (duh) but she thought it'd be permenant or some shit so...she is primarily worried about it. Second biggest worry after my career (and thus family pride?) is that i will be moving away. She never actually adressed my fate or feelings but only tangentiually touched upon my welfare from a career basis...

Naturally she is only willing to address this one-on-one since no one else should know, and Andersons like me come in 3 group types. "single", "pair" and "argument". Bring a 3rd person in and "fight's on!"

Gotta manage this...past time i did infact. Damnit, but i so do not need this right now...

BUT don't worry folks, i am ok. safe, secure. If that changes, i can hop a taxi and crash in a motel for abit before my flight home...thus missing xmass/reunion which is the reason none of this will be allowed to "come to a head" or the 'happy families' act shatters.

I wonder what a loving caring family would be like, not this weird fascade based upon appearances and academic achievement. I just have no idea anymore...


For those with a will to read my archive:
^_^ Time to dance.

Comments

[marko-the-rat.livejournal.com]

Be strong, Ristin. I'm there with you in spirit. I know you can feel me.

I don't know what a loving caring family would be like either. I'm not even sure such a thing exists.

[subrosa-florens.livejournal.com]

Ristin, there is no "good time" to come out. If that is what you are waiting for, you will be waiting until you are dead. I do not think you really want to wait that long. The only question is whether or not you are ready for it.

I suggest you stop playing this game with your family on their terms. Start playing it by your own instead. Do not let them intimidate you with fears of their negative reaction. Rather, you intimidate them with fears of what you will do.

It is the same advice you gave me exactly a year ago, when I told my family I was not going to see them anymore because of what their behaviour was doing to me. It worked for me then. They came around when they saw I was serious. It can work for you too.

Just do not bluff about it. Be straight with them. They shape up and deal with the reality of you being gay, or you are gone. Be sure you are willing to live with whatever way it goes.

If you are not prepared for that, then it is not time to do it. If you are prepared for it, then anytime is as good as another.

[darth-phylos.livejournal.com]

Very good advice. I "came out" in a sense to my parents, and they couldn't deal with it, and I was more than willing to cut them loose. I had friends that I had picked and loved - I did not need people that were merely going to judge me and my only shared interest was genetic lineage...

[ristin.livejournal.com]

...I gotta go back and check my advice to you from a year ago i think. ^_^

[vass]

*hug*

Stay strong. You've got Marko there to come home to when you finish this.

[darth-phylos.livejournal.com]

And me :)

[ristin.livejournal.com]

I am definitely looking forward to meeting you.

[darth-phylos.livejournal.com]

Now I am a little scared... *hides*

[aslan42.livejournal.com]

*hug* You can always come hide at my place until you go to Brisbane, so your
parents can't find you. You're always welcome here.

[(Anonymous)]

Bless you, Aslan. Ristin needs friends like you right now. I don't know what's going to happen, but it's in my nature to expect the worst.

[marko-the-rat.livejournal.com]

In case it's not obvious from the context, the above was posted by me, marko_the_rat. Having some technical difficulties as I'm away from my usual computer right now. Ristin, I love you dearly and I'm thinking about you every moment. Feel loved, because you certainly. Not just by me but by all your friends.

[ristin.livejournal.com]

I know. I can feel it.

[ristin.livejournal.com]

Thankyou. I'll keep that in mind! ^_^

I love to have backup options.
Odds are i'll take up that offer in the form of "hey, i'm visiting melb for a week, can i crash?" though...looks like i'll eng up back here a half dozen times or so at this rate. Which is not a bad thing I think.

[pearl]

Or my house... although right now you might need to break in since I'm out of the state... I have a spare bed and stuff.

Might even have chocolate for comforting if that is what's needed. :)

[porsupah.livejournal.com]

There's not much I can really add, aside from hoping strongly that, far from being some apocalyptic event, the worst that'll happen is maybe a few sharp words.

Whatever happens - you know who's waiting for you. ^_^

[marko-the-rat.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you know too, from the look of the tongue action you've got going on in your user picture. ;) Rats are sexy; we can't help it. *does a little dance and falls over*

[phyreluck.livejournal.com]

*hug*
I would offer you my couch as well, but I can't imagine that you'd ever need to hide all the way on the other side of the planet. I have no sage words of wisdom either, but maybe an extra *hug*.

[archadia.livejournal.com]

*simply hugs*

[shadowbitten.livejournal.com]

*HUGE HUG*

If you ever need a place to crash, you are welcome to come to Denmark and please, by all means take Marko with you. ^_^

We've got an inflatable mattress big enough for two, blankets, dyner, pillows, towels and heart and hearth room for you.
It is pretty far, but..^_^

*HUGEHUG*
For both of ya.^_^