I'm pretty much in agreement with you (morally speaking there isn't a lot of justification for targeting civilians), but I simultaneously have a hard time answering to the problems that arise when an opposing force uses various tactics that present an existential threat. If one side elevates a conflict to all out war, it is similarly hard to justify responding with a tactic that will be certain to lose.
For example, the moral costs of targeting civilians in WW2 were enormous. The allies gradually inched more and more towards a strategy of considering civilian targets legitimate. A willingness to use such methods against a ruthless enemy is difficult to argue with if you can establish that it was a necessary condition for victory. After all, the moral costs of a loss in such a war were almost unquestionably greater than the costs of civilian bombings. Had the Nazis gained full control of Europe and the Soviet Union, we can only imagine the costs would have been much much worse.
To me the question is mostly one of if targeting civilians is even an effective strategy and/or tactic to begin with, and if the conditions for using that tactic are really morally excusable or not. In the case of the Palestinian conflict, I don't think either side is really in a position to make a serious justification for the use of such tactics, because neither side is doing anything as atrocious as the holocaust nor are as terrifying as the Fascists were. In some sense each side feels existentially threatened (Israel being a small Jewish state in the middle of a sea of Muslims, Palestine being increasingly marginalized by an aggressive Jewish state), but I don't see Israel systematically killing the Palestinians or the Palestinians systematically killing the Israelis (though both side certainly seem to have ill intent).
The reality is, both sides are having their political rhetoric dictated by extremists and the moderates are insufficiently willing to challenge the status quo. I don't think any change will ever come until the moderates pair up with the doves and make a strong coalition with the will to fight the dominant hawkish politics. The real trick is, this would have to happen on both sides practically simultaneously for it to stick I think.
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For example, the moral costs of targeting civilians in WW2 were enormous. The allies gradually inched more and more towards a strategy of considering civilian targets legitimate. A willingness to use such methods against a ruthless enemy is difficult to argue with if you can establish that it was a necessary condition for victory. After all, the moral costs of a loss in such a war were almost unquestionably greater than the costs of civilian bombings. Had the Nazis gained full control of Europe and the Soviet Union, we can only imagine the costs would have been much much worse.
To me the question is mostly one of if targeting civilians is even an effective strategy and/or tactic to begin with, and if the conditions for using that tactic are really morally excusable or not. In the case of the Palestinian conflict, I don't think either side is really in a position to make a serious justification for the use of such tactics, because neither side is doing anything as atrocious as the holocaust nor are as terrifying as the Fascists were. In some sense each side feels existentially threatened (Israel being a small Jewish state in the middle of a sea of Muslims, Palestine being increasingly marginalized by an aggressive Jewish state), but I don't see Israel systematically killing the Palestinians or the Palestinians systematically killing the Israelis (though both side certainly seem to have ill intent).
The reality is, both sides are having their political rhetoric dictated by extremists and the moderates are insufficiently willing to challenge the status quo. I don't think any change will ever come until the moderates pair up with the doves and make a strong coalition with the will to fight the dominant hawkish politics. The real trick is, this would have to happen on both sides practically simultaneously for it to stick I think.